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it gets worse

Have you ever found yourself complaining, venting, or bitching about your current situation but then stop yourself short because you know there are others who have it worse and now you feel guilty for even thinking of complaining?

We want to point out that just because someone has it worse (or better) than us, that doesn’t mean we’re banned from expressing our feelings out loud.

We are tired, we are depressed, and we have been living COVID Groundhog Day for months... it’s difficult to shift again, to see the silver lining again, and to be grateful for all that we have...again!  Even though that’s what we are working towards, putting out fires day-in and day-out just makes us want to shout, cry, and bitch about what seems to be never ending hard times!

When we were younger, many of us learned to compartmentalize and label (e.g., good, bad, ugly) in order to understand our world around us. But as we mature and grow, we start to realize that not everything should be filed away in separate folders. Our emotions are as complex and dynamic as we are, and we believe that your conflicting emotions can co-exist.

We can be grateful for what we have and be sick of our current situation.  We can love our family and need a break from them. We can have a terrible day and know that someone else has it worse. Conflicting emotions can co-exist because it’s all part of our human experience.

Of course we try to be considerate of our audience and conscious of our surroundings when sharing our true feelings, but pushing down and dismissing our emotions out of fear of not having it “bad enough” can really do more damage than good.  

When we share our stories (the good, the bad, and the ugly), we tap into our true self and share a common thread of compassion. We can all relate to the feelings of disappointment, exhaustion, and brokenness, but also the feelings of gratefulness, love, and hope.

It’s been our experience that if you share your feelings without self-judgement, you will not be met with judgement from others. We don’t experience just good feelings or bad feelings, our emotions are powerful tools to help navigate our journey and to help us learn and grow, and they should not be ignored.

So the next time life gets rough and you just need someone to hear you, we encourage you to just let it out. Or if someone needs an ear to vent, we’re confident that you will really mean it when you say: “I’m so sorry for what you are going through. I know how much it hurts and I’m here for you if you need me.”

We always know someone has it worse, but sharing our complicated and conflicting feelings is not only healing for you but it’s also healing for all of us.

With love,

Ming-Wai and Ming-Cee

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