We get it, change is hard for almost everyone. But why is that?
In order to change, we have to be vulnerable and surrender to that uneasy feeling that we don’t have control over the outcome. It’s terrifying not to know if our investment will ever really pay off. There is comfort in our old habits and cruising on auto pilot because, for the most part, we feel like we know what to expect. We feel in control.
If we take the time to reflect on our current situation, no matter how unhappy or uncomfortable we might be, at least we know what our current situation looks like, feels like, and how it will respond to our reactions.
I might be sitting in shit, but at least I know what shit I’m sitting in.
Many times during our individual healing journeys, we both had to and continue to choose vulnerability. It is terrifying and uncomfortable to be vulnerable since it requires us to admit the truth: we’d rather sit in shit than change our path.
And this might be incredibly difficult to admit if we have been spending most of our lives checking off items on our to-do list, creating an external image that doesn’t match the internal, or methodically plotting out our future full of happiness and success. This life does feel good for a while (sometimes for a long while) but eventually the shit starts accumulating and the structure of success we’ve built doesn’t have room for us to be vulnerable.
What we have found in the magic of being vulnerable is that it allows us to let go of fear. It sounds counterintuitive, but if we can be honest with ourselves and face our shortcomings then it no longer becomes a weakness that we’re afraid to expose. Instead it becomes a challenge that we have the strength to work on. The fear of comparison, fear of what others think, fear of failure slowly dissipates because success is measured on our terms and no one else's.
Since we have started sharing our stories and building our community, we can feel the results of our efforts. It isn’t happening quickly and it’s still hard as hell but no doubt, change is happening.
Our ming+ming community is built to be a safe place to be vulnerable. It’s about connecting over the fact that we are all struggling and cheering each other along. We remind each other to give ourselves grace when life gets in the way and we celebrate the victories, tiny and significant. And sometimes we just vent about our day because “a burden shared is a burden halved” as one of our members recently reminded us in meditation class.
Come join us at one of our classes where you can pause and explore what’s going on inside. Follow your breath to quiet down the chatter and discover a chance to be vulnerable in the safety of your own space. Allow the ming+ming community to be a tool to help with the challenges, stresses, and vulnerability that come along with change.
Ming-Wai + Ming-Cee