We can only fall off the wagon when we are brave enough to go on the journey of defining our boundaries and forging our own paths.
So why does “falling off the wagon” feel like such a huge mistake? Like it’s something that only people who are struggling to stay on the wagon would be stupid enough to make...over and over again.
If you’re like us, we used to beat ourselves up for falling off the wagon. We would blame it on our lack of dedication or an innate weakness, always chalking it up to a character flaw or telling ourselves “I guess I just don’t want it bad enough.”
This negative definition of falling off the wagon was quickly followed by our negative reel and kept us locked into our habitual pattern of feeling stuck, sorry for ourselves, and not quite understanding why.
But what if falling off the wagon is just the process of defining and testing our boundaries?
Our boundaries are always growing, shifting and changing with us. Things that we accepted in the past may no longer serve us, or we don’t have the same amount of free time to entertain the idea any longer. Whatever the reason, the only way to know when our boundaries shift is to go past them.
So instead of feeling embarrassed or ashamed of our past actions, we instead look forward to say: “okay, now we know.” If we stay stuck in the emotions of disappointment and regret, then we can’t stay on track to reach our goals. Because ultimately the path is not laid out before us, we are creating it as we go. And defining our boundaries allows us to validate WHY we want this change in the first place.
So falling off the wagon is normal and nothing to be ashamed of.
Falling off the wagon means we have the courage to keep moving forward, despite making inevitable mistakes. The uncomfortable feelings that come along with it is the exact impact that we need so we limit ourselves on making the same mistakes moving forward.
So if you find yourself falling off the wagon, we invite you to shift your perspective and meet this challenge with a tone of pride, knowing that you brushed off the dirt, tended to your wounds, and hopped back on to keep moving forward.
See you on the trails!
Ming-Wai + Ming-Cee
P.S. Remember this newsletter post from September 2020? Oldie but a goodie... Man, I feel off the wagon... again!