“There’s nothing wrong with you. You discovered your work.”
--Rabbi Mordecai Finley
There’s a misconception when we start our healing journey that there is a long laundry list of flaws that we need to fix. Bad habits we have to quit cold turkey, weaknesses we have to strengthen, demons we have to face. With this concept comes a lot of harsh self judgement, shame, frustration, and disappointment.
Though we want to address the entire laundry list of issues, we must understand that it takes a long time (dare we say a lifetime!) to address each and every one. Sometimes the challenge of addressing all our “flaws” feels like a heroic feat, making it nearly impossible for change to begin. This is when we must streamline our energy and efforts towards manageable milestones to support our overarching goals.
There’s nothing wrong with us when we don’t achieve our goals. We are not failures. We are not weak. It’s an invitation to shift our perspective, strengthen our self-awareness, and muster the courage to have an honest conversation with ourselves to discover where we can improve… in other words, we’re discovering our work.
Breaking down our big goals into bite-size pieces makes it easier for us to show up for ourselves a little bit everyday. Checking in with ourselves regularly allows us to reach the milestones towards our goals and recognize that change is slowly happening. We are less likely to react with a sharp tongue or harsh words, we have less regrets about our decisions and actions, and we start to develop a deeper love for ourselves.
Of course, life always seems to get in the way of our progress. Life is an action word and it stops for no one. It’s when distractions, priorities, and shared lives interrupt our efforts that can send us back to our comfortable bad habits. And that’s okay because it’s normal. Falling back a milestone or two (or five) is manageable when we know that we can get back on track again when we’re ready to move forward.
At ming+ming we celebrate the effort. We celebrate when we show up on our yoga mats, when we pause for the first time in a long time, when we actually listen to our bodies and give ourselves the permission to lay in savasana for the entire 60 minutes (true story!).
We celebrate the effort because a baby step or a giant leap towards our goals is still moving in the right direction. We celebrate the effort because we know there are good months and stressed-the-hell-out months. We celebrate the effort that it takes to choose YOU when so many others depend on you. We celebrate the effort because we know the ultimate goal is a lifetime of sustainable change so we can enjoy the life we work so hard to create.
When we invest time and energy to pause, check in with ourselves, and celebrate the effort of moving forward, change starts to subtly creep in. This is when we notice that we don’t crave our additions quite as strongly, that healthy decisions seem to occur quicker and with more ease, and we meet challenges with grace and compassion. The effort is always worth it and we’re cheering for you on your good days… but especially on the days when life gets in the way!
With love,
Ming-Wai + Ming-Cee