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step three: your why


Change is hard. And sometimes, it’s incredibly fucking hard. There are times we want to give up, and sometimes we do. We call this falling off the wagon and it’s a critical part to our healing journey. Because it’s only when our discomforts become too loud to ignore that we are forced to think about why we want to change in the first place.


Usually when life gets uncomfortable, our reaction is to immediately try to “fix” how we feel. We binge watch, we scroll, we shop, we throw ourselves into our work, we distract ourselves from our feelings one way or another. This makes us feel better for a while, but it doesn’t last.


Our why is that honest, true answer that is deep within us and it’s what gets us back on track. It’s our north star when we get distracted. Our why gives us the courage and stamina to face the problem, conflict, or stuckness head-on because it’s the only way to achieve our goals without bringing along the emotional baggage. It’s uncomfortable, it’s frustrating, and no one wants to do it. This is why they call it “doing the work.”


The hardest of all the work comes in the beginning. When we are first challenging our habitual thought processes, our ingrained beliefs, and our life-long habits. Sometimes we find ourselves longing for things to be easier, but we know in our hearts that the real life-changing moments happen after a battle well fought.


There’s much to battle within ourselves - cultural expectations, feelings of unworthiness, guilt, the list never ends. The hard work is shifting our perspective so we can invest the time, money, and energy to work through our stuckness, insecurities, and weaknesses. Our strength comes from knowing that the hard work will be uncomfortable until we do it enough times that we feel comfortable with the uncomfortable.


As we continue to choose to do our own work, we become more skillful in sitting with the discomfort, not reacting, and not rushing to fix how we feel. We pause, prioritize our needs, implement our tools, and show up to class because we are essentially training ourselves to better understand our emotions, address our mental health, and to be intentional with our reactions so we may live with more ease and less regrets.


Understanding our why is our motivation for showing up for ourselves, especially when we’d rather just check out. We are all ebbing and flowing between our old familiar selves and who we are slowly working to become as we push forward and continue doing the hard work. When we lose focus and our comfy old habits suggest we stay awhile, we go back to why we took the terrifying leap of faith to change in the first place.


As we continue down this difficult path, we remember to honor ourselves when we need a break, give ourselves grace when we fall off the wagon, and even enjoy our indulgences once in a while because all of this can be so damn hard.


We encourage you to go on this courageous journey with us. Our platform provides tools, encouragement, and systematic solutions to the challenges we will inevitably encounter along the way. Yes this is hard and yes you have what it takes. We are here to support you and give you the space you need to reaffirm your why so you can keep moving forward with confidence.


With love,

Ming-Wai + Ming-Cee


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