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better isn’t “right”

At ming+ming, our goal isn’t to become a better version of ourselves, it’s to grow into a richer version of ourselves.

As we were beautifully reminded by our yoga instructor Justyna, it’s important to take the time to embrace exactly who we are right now, exactly where we are on our personal growth journeys. Because when we tell ourselves that we are trying to create habits to make ourselves “better,” this implies that there is something wrong with us.

We have both been working on ourselves, but more specifically we have been working on shifting our perspectives of how we view ourselves and how we speak to ourselves. We’ve realized that making small adjustments to our internal dialogue can make a significant impact on the quality of our journeys. And as we reflect back, it’s been one of our hardest challenges (and to be honest, we’re still working on it) because sometimes we aren’t sure if we always believe what we tell ourselves.

Something that helps to remind us of our self worth is a quote from Rabbi Mordecai Finley: “There’s nothing wrong with you. You’ve just discovered your work.

Work. That’s exactly what it is. Perhaps that’s what deters so many of us from doing it. If we want to grow as individuals, it will take work, it will take extra energy, and it will take time. It will feel uncomfortable and we will feel like quitting at some point. We will try something new only to learn that it didn’t provide us with the results we hoped for. It’s not only work, but it’s hard work.

As we look down the road of our personal growth journeys, we can see the potential difficulties and challenges that we will face ahead, and that fear alone can be so powerful it stops us in our tracks. But we now know that growth comes from overcoming obstacles and finding the strength to keep challenging ourselves to move forward. This is how we grow into deeper, richer versions of ourselves, not a “better” one.

We are now more comfortable with being uncomfortable, even though it can still suck. We accept the unexpected because we now believe in our ability to solve our own problems, even though it’s frustrating and inconvenient. We have developed more courage to try new things in spite of the fear since we know that self discovery comes from experiencing life even when we’d rather feel safe in our familiar spaces.

It takes doing the work to grow. And for us, growing is the goal. And though we may slip back into the mindset that we are trying to better ourselves, shifting our perspective and changing even a single word (healthier, stronger…) can make the journey less strenuous. Growing into a deeper and richer version of ourselves allows us to still make mistakes and face failure despite our efforts without our negative reels reminding us that we aren’t good enough.

We believe it’s from our mistakes and failures that we learn what our likes and dislikes are, and discover what works and what doesn’t. It allows us to connect with others over shared experiences, and lessens our judgment that perpetuates our limiting beliefs. Mistakes and failures are what allows us to realize that doing what’s “right” all the time doesn’t make us better, it just makes us stuck believing that better is always “right”.

If you were to shift just one perspective, we encourage you to pause long enough to redefine your goal. If your goal implies that you need to improve because there is something wrong with you, then you should expect your growth journey to be riddled with self doubt and accompanied by a loud negative reel. But if you can work on truly believing that there is nothing wrong with you and you’ve just discovered your work, then we can guarantee your travels will be more enjoyable despite the difficult terrain.

ming+ming makes the work less harsh by eliminating the confusion on where to start or which tools to try, and feeling overwhelmed when you think you are all alone on this journey.

Start by taking one of our classes to find the time to pause long enough to ask yourself (and actually hear the answer to): “What is my goal?”

With love,

Ming-Wai + Ming-Cee

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