It’s not sexy to ask for help all the time. It’s not sexy to wear flats with orthotics. It’s not sexy to drive with a pillow behind your neck. It’s not sexy to tape your mouth shut while you sleep. It’s not sexy to bring your own gluten free snack to a party. It’s not sexy to not drink. It’s not sexy to be high maintenance. It’s not sexy to rest.
It’s not sexy to _______________(fill in the blank).
The list can go on and on. And more often than not, it’s these ideas of not looking sexy, strong, or capable, that keeps us from helping ourselves. In other words, our egos and identities are driving our decisions.
“If I’m not the most put together mom at back to school night, then who am I?”
It’s in the quiet pause when we ask ourselves and answer honestly: why does that matter to me and what’s more important for me right now?
Will we decide to go to the wedding in flats when we normally dress to win the title of best dressed? Will we take the extra time to support our bodies with pillows at the risk of seeming weak or needy? Will we risk what people might think when we bust out our gluten free crackers and nonalcoholic beer at the next get together?
It’s being in a space where we continuously make decisions to better ourselves, our situations, and our health that will allow us to start enjoying the life we have worked so hard to create. To actually enjoy it, not just maintain it. But if that's true, then why do we fight change so hard? Why can’t we just change if it’s what we truly want?
The issue we’re working on is accepting that the road there is not sexy.
The change that happens from within is when we choose consistently to make healthier decisions to support ourselves...and our future selves. So it might not look sexy now, but who cares if it makes you feel better and shine from within? Sexy is really living your life, feeling good in your body, and enjoying it no matter what others think.
It’s walking around knowing you got your shit together and you love the shit you have. It’s being confident on the path you’re on. It’s being genuinely present and appreciative of what surrounds you. It’s knowing you have the strength, the support and love to handle what life has to dish out.
The misconception we've lived by in the past is: if things look good on the outside then we'll feel good on the inside. It has taken hindsight and reflecting on our past to teach us that it’s actually the opposite.
When we are genuinely expressing our true selves, hearing our inner voice, listening to those needs and acting upon them, is when we shine with confidence. And it's when our actions are closely tied to our values and we don’t question them or care much about how it looks to others, is when we are living authentically.
Now that’s sexy. (And trust us, people will notice)
With love,
Ming-Wai + Ming-Cee