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step one: negative reel

It wasn’t that long ago that we both felt confused, frustrated, stuck, and uncertain about our lives.

These emotions made us feel like we had little control. It kept us stuck in our patterns, feeding our old habits, and waiting for something to change in order to break us from the debilitating cycle of wishing things were different.

The complexity of the situation was highlighted when we would pause long enough to evaluate why we felt these negative emotions. On paper, our lives were comfortable, and blessed. We had accomplished what was expected of us and achieved the lifestyle that we strategically planned our entire lives. We were supposed to be enjoying everything we had worked so hard to create, but we weren’t. Instead, there was a part of us that felt guilty, confused, and ashamed.

Luckily, through coincidence and timing, we were able to support one another through this confusing time and connect over the fact that we were both struggling, albeit in different realms.

And though our struggles were different, we knew we were both searching to understand. To understand how we got ourselves here. To understand our emotions and behaviors. To understand how to help ourselves. To understand where to invest our limited time, energy and money.

The first step for both of our healing journeys was to go inside. We had to rediscover our worthiness and to believe that we had the power to heal ourselves.

That is why step one in the ming+ming 11-step process, is the negative reel.

Our negative reel is our shit-talking voice. Noticing what that negative reel says and how it's said (judgmental tone) and how often it's being said, is the foundation to all the other steps we will take on our healing journeys.

We know firsthand that the negative reel is destructive and sneaky. It impacts our lives and affects most of our daily decisions with a familiar voice. And since it sounds just like us, and we've been talking this way for so long, it makes it very difficult to even pinpoint it. We were both naïve to its damaging powers until we were able to recognize it and learn how to quiet it down.

Now we know how to coach ourselves through life, cheer ourselves on with love and compassion, give ourselves grace for our shortcomings and have patience when we mess up yet again. We also now know how to use our tools to identify our negative reels and quiet it down quicker when it decides to pop back up.

This crucial first step has helped us move forward in filtering the destructive noise that keeps us scared and afraid to change. Quieting down our negative reel has created the space we need to start supporting ourselves, listening AND validating our needs. To believe in our needs allows us to develop trust with ourselves and gain the confidence to believe in our natural abilities--the building blocks to developing a deeper and stronger self-love.

What we discovered on our own healing journeys is when we discover how to reconnect with ourselves again, we can then start to understand OUR process of healing and what we need to make those changes happen. But more importantly, we believe that we deserve to make those changes, and we remind ourselves we are worth it when the going gets tough. And trust us, the going definitely gets tough.

So when you are ready for real, sustainable change in your life but don't know where to start, we are here to help you take your first step. We are here to help you identify your negative reel and figure out how to quiet it down so you can discover your true voice, trust it and start making the changes you need.

With love,

Ming-Wai + Ming-Cee

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